he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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