At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Randomize
