This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
We have started to decorate penises.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize