How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
cat food counts as protein by the way
She told me I should be a condom model.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Randomize
