Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
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