As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I deserve this hangover.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
tell me about the eggs
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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