Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
What drink are we having for lunch?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
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