your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
