i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
