I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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