yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
