and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Randomize
