I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Boobs are out for the taking
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
