He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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