Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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