In the future we'll all be gay
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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