Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize
