is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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