in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
We're too hungover to prance.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
