The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
