goodnight i made you a song goodbye
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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