So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
