Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
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