She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
