Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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