Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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