I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
