escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Randomize
