Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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