Porn is love you can see.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
