I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize