For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Life is so much better after having sex.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
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