Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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