In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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