there's paper in my vomit.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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