I would go down on you faster than GM stock
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
