I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
