Everything about him screamed your future.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
