gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
should my penis look like a turkey
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
