Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
