I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
