Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
