In the future we'll all be gay
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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