He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I need to stop coming to work sober
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
