I'm pants shitting drunk right now
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
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