Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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