Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
im holly from the hills drunk
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
