I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
