i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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