farters have to be the big spoon...
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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