My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
