you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Is that strawberry winking at me??
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
