Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Alive.
So much puke
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
