ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Randomize