You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
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