after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize