brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I believe in your delicious
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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