She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
