It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize