we're blogging at a bar
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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