I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
